Tar Baby Evangelism
I just found a guide to promoting your Tar Baby - whatever it is - in this Tar Baby Evangelism "howto" guide.
Just subsititute your personal Tar Baby for the one in the outline given here.
This general guide seems to be about "Eris" - some mythological goddess of discord - but you can substitute any Tar baby Beliefs you like into the argument and still win.
If you don't have a Tar Baby yet - then go here for some suggestions - or you can roll your own.
THE SOCRATIC APPROACH: should always be used to open the conversation with the victim. That is what asking questions to start an argument is called. You approach the victim and simply ask: "Did you know that God is a female? And that Her name is ERIS, Goddess of Discord?"If the victim says "yes", then he's either lying or you've picked a fellow Discordian, idiot.
If he doesn't, then proceed to:
THE BLIND ASSERTION: This is where you say, "Well, She is a woman and Her name is Eris." Now see if the victim appears to be convinced. If not, proceed to
THE FAITH BIT: "But you must have faith! Faith is wonderful, etc.! I feel sorry for you if you don't have faith!" And then add
THE ARGUMENT BY FEAR: "Do you know what happens to those who don't believe in Goddess?" If the victim says "no", don't tell him whatever it is you think happens to unbelievers, just shake your head sadly and go to
THE FIRST CAUSE PLOY: wherein you point to all the chaos around you and ask, "Well who do you think make all this then, wise guy?" If he says "nobody, just impersonal forces", then go on to
THE ARGUMENT BY SEMANTICAL GYMNASTICS: wherein you say that he is right and that those impersonal forces are a female and that Her name is Eris. If he still objects to your objectionable
presence, then go to theFIGURATIVE SYMBOLISM DODGE: wherein you explain that all sophisticated people know that Eris is just a figurative symbol for discord, but that the Discordian Religion is a magnificent work of art--portrait of chaos, so to speak.
I have to add to this:
ARGUMENT BY NEGATIVE PERSUASION: When a Jehovah's Witness knocks on your door and says: "Don't you agree that there is too much famine, war, death, rape. greed and lies on the planet Earth" - then argue the opposite!!You should make a cogent argument that there is NOT ENOUGH famine, war, death, rape, greed and lies on the planet Earth, beacuse their omnipotent Jehovah has created EVERYTHING on the face of the planet Earth - even the death, famine and greed - and he must want more of the same - so therefore we can never have enough of the whole death, famine and greed thing - because God wills it.
After that they are toast - slip your Tar Baby beliefs in right about now ...
ARGUMENT BY THEOLOGY: When a Mormon approaches you and wants to read from the Bible - pick the bit about "graven images" from Moses - then point out that Joseph Smith translated the Book of Mormon from graven slabs that mysteriously disappeared the moment he had finished the translation.Slipping in phrases about "worshippers of graven images are the tools of Satan" and "in the old days we knew how to deal with heretics like you" are often useful at this point.
Now is about time to slip in your Tar Baby beliefs - while they are reeling with the realisation that the Spanish Inquisition would have shoved them on a stake and made marshmallows on the flames.
Point this out - then hit them again with why they should agree with you.
I guess I should shut up and put some tags in about now - but not until I've mentioned the Templars.
Tags: new cold war tar baby tar baby principle eris illuminati discordianism propaganda