tonight's podcast is here, and it takes a cue from the overall feeling of things (at least around me) these days... uncertainty, insecurity, unknown-ness, etc. most of it has to do with the obvious concerns everyone's having over the economic situation. but it seems to bleed into other areas too - relationships, faith, the u.s. presidential election, the future.
i feel all kinds of conflicting things about all of this. it's hard to explain. but i've been sifting it, trying to take stock of what's been going on in my heart. i tend to think that our response to crisis and threat says a lot more about us (our values, beliefs, fears) than it ever does the world outside, or our perceived enemies/opposition. no doubt real threats exist. i know. real dangers. real things to fear and prepare for. but - that said - parsing out which is which and when is always a tricky thing. it's easy to get lost, y'know? and even easier to get caught in the loop of reconfirming our own bias. i'm curious how you see it? i don't know. i can't prove any of it. but it does seems true to me. somehow deeply.
so - with that in mind - for whatever reason - right or wrong - my response tonight is to try to redouble my efforts to listen and understand and connect with the people around me. that's what i value. and i believe deeply that any solution to these things has to be rooted in understanding - both of ourselves and others. whatever real compassion is - the real thing - the kind that works and gives and changes us - i think *this* is where it's born. when we're not sure. when we're scared. how we respond in times like this. honestly.
i'm naive and as prone to blindness as the next guy, so i'm definitely not saying i have any of this figured out. cuz i absolutely don't. obviously. i'm painfully aware that my grasp of the problems themselves (whether they be personal, emotional, economic, political, or whatever), and what's the best move to make things better, is murky at best. so, the answers aren't here. for sure. as you know. :) but what i *do* think is here - the only thing of value i believe in in times like this - is the starting place. a starting place for understanding, working, giving, trying, hoping, changing. in a real way that feels like all we ever have when things aren't right. the potential of an open heart. listening. and maybe more? maybe these are the doing of it too? i don't know. sometimes it feels that way.
politically speaking, my heart is broken by most of the discourse i see around me. the sides, the supposed opposites, etc. while i know (and embrace) the fact that my heart is naive, i simply don't believe in those labels and polarities. i mean, i see them, yes. i feel them. i see the world throwing them back and forth. but i honestly don't get it. nor buy it. these "opposites" feel like ghosts to me.
pepper's ghosts. distractions. mirror images.
i know the world isn't perfect. i know people are a mix of good and bad and indifferent. me most of all. i know greed exists. i know evil exists. not a question. but so does love and kindness and goodness and compassion and transcendent possibility for change. and - in days like these - when strife and panic and blame are everywhere, i can't help but feel that ignoring (or forgetting) the humanity of those we disagree with is a stiflingly empty and incomplete response. so much of the u.s. feels like this right now - red, blue, black, white, boy, girl, jesus, allah, gay, straight. no matter which side we're on. so, in a real sense, the question seems to come down to what kind of life we want? us, here. for real. are we ok with this? i'm not. i know it can be better. i know we can love better. i know we can follow god better. i want to.
for me that's the bottom line. i want things to be better. i want things to change. i want hearts to open. and i realize that these changes are rarely (if ever) about words. words point toward things, outline shapes, give general impressions... but they're not the thing itself. so here i am typing and talking. type, type, type. :) true. this is just me trying to find a way to point toward what i feel in my heart. hoping to somehow say it in a way that connects to your heart. but i'm not confused about the real change that's needed. the real thing happens when we feel it. when we see it. when we do it. it's up to us. i really think so.
if you have time, i really hope you can take a listen to episode 112. i'd love to share it with you. <3
links to cool music and books and people:
danny scherr -
myspace.com/dannyscherr
pick up danny's cd at -
cd baby
heather and sparklebritches -
myspace.com/sparklebritchesmusic
the cobalt season -
thecobaltseason.com
the cobalt catalog is available (among many other e-places) -
here
alan watts -
podcast
alan watts -
on wikipedia
his book -
the wisdom of insecurity
love,
russell
