that's how i feel tonight. the past week has been absolutely crazy with unforeseen computer problems, so i'm very happy and relieved and thankful that episode 62 is here on schedule! it's a small thing. yes, i know. but one much savored by me. i feel a sense of accomplishment. generally speaking, i'm not a highly tech-savvy person, so, when things don't work as they're supposed to, it usually takes me way too much time to unravel. and, honestly, being the "computer-tech guy" for simplemuzik - by default - is just about the most dreaded part of the job for me! no. fun. seriously. but, alas - happily and thankfully - it paid off. and episode 62 is here to prove it! whew.

as a result of my skittishness about over-taxing an ailing system, i kept my talking to a minimum this week, and tried to keep the focus on the artists and what they're doing. and that seems fitting to me, because we have some really amazing music and talent this week. i'm excited by the way the boundaries of the show, musical and otherwise, are stretching and growing... i see it as a deeply beautiful thing, and i know i'm lucky to be sharing this with you. i'm happy that you're here.

with that in mind, i'm honored to introduce some new artists to the podcast this week! i've mentioned jesse and elliott before, and want to thank them for so being patient with me as i've tried to find the right context for their songs. i think we did. and tonight is it. as you'll hear on the show, their bands govangogh and tungsten-sf (respectively) are doing stuff worth your attention. i hope you'll pursue them, and find out more. also, i want to send huge thanks and a big welcome-back to true margrit and curt yagi for joining us again. there's some great music this week, and i'm honored to share it with you. i hope you'll take a listen, and learn more about the artists below...

govangogh - www.govangogh.net
tungsten-sf -www.tungstensf.com
true margrit - www.truemargrit.com
curt yagi - www.curtyagi.com

also, as i mentioned in the last segment, i hope you'll check out my friend john levitt's novel dog days. it was released yesterday! you can read a review here. and you can buy it here.

john himself can be found at - www.jlevitt.com. you should say hi.

hope everyone is well tonight.

happy halloween!
russell

Posted by russell at 04:25 PM | Permalink | TrackBacks (0)

just want to let everybody know that i'm playing solo and acoustic shows the next two friday's in a row. looks like these will be my last solo shows for 2007, so it'd be fun to share them with you. they are...

this friday - november 2
bazaar cafe, 7-10pm
5927 california st. san francisco
i'll be doing a few of my songs with alex, anna, and patrick of slyway.
www.bazaarcafe.com

and next friday - november 9
the red victorian, 7:30pm
1665 haight (@ cole), san francisco
me solo for a full set! yay!
www.redvic.com

show details can always be found at: www.simplemuzik.com/rdshows.htm

things were a little crazy (in a not-so-good way) over the summer, so i'm very happy to be able to share this with you. if you have time, i really hope you can make it.

wishing you the best,
russell

Posted by russell at 09:40 PM | Permalink | TrackBacks (0)

i uploaded episode 61 earlier tonight. it's about love. again. :) i hope you can listen. things are busy for me right now - i have a few shows coming up (with slyway next friday at bazaar cafe, and the following friday solo at the red victorian), so i've been doing band practice stuff, and regular work, and emotionally frying a little too (in a good way)... so won't be writing a thesis tonight. but i did want to say hi, and send special thanks out to danny scherr and curt yagi for sharing their music with us.

i hope you'll visit them at:
danny scherr - www.myspace.com/dannyscherr
curt yagi - www.curtyagi.com
curt on myspace - www.myspace.com/curtmusic

and, don't forget to check the video at - www.rocksf.org

<3
russell

Posted by russell at 08:49 PM | Permalink | TrackBacks (0)

just remembered a few more links! i don't have mp3's for jeff adams or govangogh (yet), but hopefully i will soon. in the meantime, you can check out jeff's music and paintings at: www.amija.com, and the music of govangogh at: www.govangogh.net. thanks to both jeff and jesse for saying hi!

also, a reminder to visit the artists featured last night:
true margrit - www.truemargrit.com
sparklebritches - www.myspace.com/sparklebritchesmusic
curt yagi - www.curtyagi.com
leslie gage - www.myspace.com/lesliegage
gery tinkelberg - www.gtink.com

thanks,
russell

Posted by russell at 06:07 PM | Permalink | TrackBacks (0)

listening makes a difference. i believe it. it's one of the biggest gifts we can ever give to another person - to pay attention - take the time to hear what's really being said, connect, and sit with another perspective - connect our lives with someone else. it's an act of love. really and truly. as simple as that. i believe it. i think it's true in our relationships - with our friends, families - and in the wider world too - art and music, even politics. they're not as opposite or disconnected as they might appear. quite the opposite. i think they're part of the same conversation. or, they can be. we just need to open our hearts, and let them. a song or a poem, letting somebody in, becoming a fan - they're not so unlike a friendship afterall. i love that this is so simple. and so true.

and, in this sense, tonight's podcast goes to the heart of what inspires me most about music and community, and why i believe in the possibility of local songwriting and performance. it's why i do music. it's why i can't resist. it's why i love sharing it with others, and hearing how you see the same things. and it's why i'm completely thankful to all of the artists who took time to say hi and bring their music with us this week. i'm excited to share what they're doing with you! as you'll hear, there are some absolutely beautiful, songs embedded in the podcast tonight. no overstatement. just fact. i hope you'll take time to check out the artists linked below, say hi, support their cds, go to their shows, friend them on myspace, tell your friends, etc., etc., etc. your act of listening and participation makes a difference. as a singer/songwriter, i know how much it means to hear back from people. i know how much it means to connect with somebody, break through - the feeling of being heard. it means a lot! so if you have time, i hope you will.

as i mentioned in the show, my hope is that margrit and heather and curt and leslie and gery will keep sharing with the podcast, and continue to bring what they're doing to all of our attention. i'd love to play more of their music, share their events and ideas, and include you in the process. and the same is true for everybody who listens. i'm thankful for you, and appreciate that you're here sharing this with me. your ideas and impressions and likes and dislikes are always welcome here. i hope you'll say hi.

tonight's featured songs are:
everyone wins - by true margrit
on the one - by sparklebritches
when i think of you - by curt yagi
black and white - by leslie gage
little by little - by gery tinkelberg
uncurl - by true margrit

also, special thanks to spider mills for thoughtfully pointing me toward the concept of "human revolution" as referenced by josei toda, and the tradition of soka gakkai. i've been reading and learning about all of this as a result, and hopefully i'll get a chance to talk about it soon. it's interesting stuff.

and, please check out the work going on at - www.rocksf.org . special thanks to curt for sharing this. they accept donations and volunteers. both of which are worthwhile.

given the state of things in our hearts and in the world - how out-of-control art and commerce so often seem - this feels good doesn't it? listening truly does change stuff. i believe it. episode 60 is a small example, i recognize. but it's a start. i'm excited about it.

all the best,
russell

Posted by russell at 05:20 PM | Permalink | TrackBacks (0)

i'm wistful tonight. it's my birthday. i'm 35. and it's good. i have so much to be thankful for, and i am. without a doubt. but i've also been thinking back on things - memories, hopes, people - and find myself a little lost in thought. a little melancholy. and hopeful too. it's that impossible-to-describe mix of both. i don't know why exactly. some of it's probably just natural brain emotional birthday stuff. and some of it probably has to do with finding out about the death of brendan over the weekend. not sure exactly. but, whatever the cause, i'm a little sad.

i've been thinking a lot about people i love who aren't here. missing them - recalling things i could've and should've done better and more and differently - frustrated by life's apparent "no-do-overs" policy... which is just one of those things that totally and completely sucks, doesn't it? so, i don't know. just the everyday feeling of time passing, i guess? overall, i'm struck by how simultaneously permanent and impermanent everything is. how hard it is to predict, and get it right the first time. and how in so many ways the past feels like a dream that never happened, and yet i'm completely emotionally affected and immersed in the reality and result of it. even now. i guess that's what hurts most of all? for me it is. and that's the part i don't how to face or deal with.

my wise, mature, side totally realizes that moving forward and working and giving our whole selves to reality and the possibility of change is the most important thing. i'm giving my heart to that. and trying. day by day. i'm not giving up. but there's also the parallel truth of regret and ache and longing and just-plain-sadness that pervades, and doesn't go away. it's the unavoidable, inexplicable truth in the process sometimes. can't escape it. i think most of us feel that way. and most of the time we know that good taste or decorum or spin requires us to cover it up and pretend to be ok and balanced and at peace with lots of stuff we're not really balanced or ok or at peace with. funny. maybe that's just life? probably. and maybe that sort of pretending is necessary and important and part of being real and mature and strong and loving? i see that too. it seems true. maybe.

but, within and around what's "ok" or "healthy" or "unhealthy," the truth is always that - as good and strong and ok as we are - we're also human. always. which means broken. and beautiful. and alone, and never alone. all simultaneously. we're all living with that uncertainty - the paradox - the loss of it. and, though some of us feign the opposite, we don't really know what it means. or, definitely not me, anyway! i don't. all of our ideas and beliefs and personas and strengths and weaknesses and talents are left on this side of the equation. and what's on the other side? what happens when we have to let go of all of our trusted illusions? even the healthy, "well-adjusted", ones??? what happens when trust and letting go is all that's left? can we do it? cuz, whenever we talk about doubt or fear or death, i think that's what we're really talking about. real letting go - the uncontrolled kind. the forced kind. it's scary, no doubt. bone scary. because none of us know what it's about. all the rules are new there. and there's nothing of substance i can really say about it, obviously. my words only serve to untie my words. i only feel it. and i suspect you probably know the feeling too. when we get there, faith isn't a choice anymore. it's just a simple, obvious, unavoidable, fact. there's nothing else left.

that's one side. and then there's the truth that i'm endlessly blessed in so many ways i could never fully comprehend. it's one of the perfect mysteries that i can't really grasp or even understand. i see just enough of it to be in awe... i'm struck by how beautiful it is. i don't understand, but i'm thankful. the hurt and the blessing. how beautiful it is to feel wistful and sad. how beautiful it is to not understand and to have limited time and to ache for it to be opposite. it makes no sense. i know. but it seems true to me.

birthday's are good. remembering is good. we get to try again. it reminds me of you and me together. here and now. how once-in-a-lifetime this is. i wanna do something good with it. i don't wanna miss it. that's my wish for year 36. i want the whole world to change all over again. i don't wanna be afraid. and i want to share it with you.

thanks for being here,
russell

Posted by russell at 08:14 PM | Permalink | TrackBacks (0)

i learned last night that brendan daly, owner and operator of ireland's 32, died suddenly late last week. needless to say, this is a very sad event for everyone who knew brendan, and for those who've had the opportunity to share in the music community he nurtured.

brendan has been very supportive of several of the bands i've played in over the past few years, and my heart goes out to his family and friends. brendan's longtime support of local san francisco music was deeply appreciated, and his passing is a huge loss for all of us. he will be missed.

russell

Posted by russell at 11:37 AM | Permalink | TrackBacks (0)

just found out that friday's red vic show is @ 7pm - not 8pm. please note! hope this doesn't disturb anyones schedule.

thanks!
russell

Posted by russell at 10:53 PM | Permalink | TrackBacks (0)

just a reminder that liz angelucci and i have two shows this week. we'd love to share them with you:

tonight! wednesday, october 10 - liz and i are sharing a set at el rio - 3158 mission st (@ cesar chavez), san francisco. show starts approx. 8pm.

and friday, october 12 - liz is doing a set (me on guitar) at the red vic - 1665 haight st. @ cole, san francisco. show starts approx. 8pm.

upcoming show info is always available at - www.simplemuzik.com/rdshows.htm and www.elizabethangelucci.com.

hope to see you soon!
russell

Posted by russell at 04:49 PM | Permalink | TrackBacks (0)

several times over the past few months, i've mentioned wanting to do a show about "why simplemuzik is free," and, happily, this week is it! mostly, per usual, it's just me rambling on about inspiration, and feeling, and motivation. but i'm curious about how it is for you too, and fascinated that it's seen and felt and experienced so differently for each of us. from a personal perspective, i'm really humbled to have had the opportunities i've had to reach people, and connect, and communicate and share through music. it's a huge blessing - always. and i feel the same way about the podcast, and talking, and the fact that you're here now reading this and sharing with me. there aren't really any words that get at the truth of my gratitude. but i'm very thankful for it. i hope it shows.

from a creative perspective, there seems to be something essential and important about why we do what we do. doesn't there??? it's not often evident on the surface - but deep down - the inexplicable feeling or connection that a song or painting or person has on us, always seems connected to the root of intent - how we open our hearts, listen, participate, engage. often we can't express it, or talk about it in any rational way. but we still know the difference. and we know the real thing when we see it. it matters. and i think's it's true of life too - in the larger sense - life itself as art - the living and trying and failing and falling and getting up over and over again. again and again. this is the sense in which every moment, and every decision to try again, and not give up, re-creates everything.

for me, that's all art is. it might come in the form of a song, or a poem, or a hard days work - or in simply taking the time to really listen to somebody who needs you to listen. there are as many opportunities as there are moments in our lives. but, whenever it really happens - truly - deeply - it's always an individual expression of our hearts in relation to those around us, our own feeling, and the intermingling of the endless tangents and variations in-between. painful, powerful, aching, true. and very beautiful. i definitely don't understand it. but it feels this way.

if you have time, i hope you'll take a listen to episode 59. i'd love to share it with you and hear how you see it.

don't forget to visit the links:
danny scherr - www.myspace.com/dannyscherr
jonah matranga - www.jonahmatranga.com

also, as a reminder, liz angelucci and i have two shows this week, and we'd love to share either (or both!) of them with you... they are:

wednesday, october 10 - liz and i are sharing a set at el rio - 3158 mission st (@ cesar chavez), san francisco. show starts approx. 8pm.

and friday, october 12 - i'm playing guitar for liz at the red vic - 1665 haight st. @ cole, san francisco. show starts approx. 8pm.

you can always get more info on upcoming shows at - www.simplemuzik.com/rdshows.htm and www.elizabethangelucci.com.

hope you're well!
russell

Posted by russell at 01:41 PM | Permalink | TrackBacks (0)

episode 58 is here! it's more about love - part II from last week - picking up where we left off. as i think it over, and talk with more people, i'm realizing more and more how life and decision-making - as a whole - is a never-endingly complicated thing to do. i mean, it's easy and natural in a sense too. yes. most definitely. but, whenever we take time to stop and think back and ponder the ramifications of our decisions, or how we might've done things differently - how things might've been - it quickly becomes messy. cuz how can we untangle cause and effect? it's crazy, right? yet it's everywhere - in every decision - be it career or family or relationship. or love. the smallest changes change everything. and the smallest nuance of feeling (caused by the smallest nuance of circumstance) is often what informs our decision-making most. far more than facts or formulae or logic. much as we might not like to admit it.

and, in that sense, life is sorta like our own personal everyday version of chaos theory. or it seems like that sometimes. a butterfly flaps it's wings, or someone looks at us in a certain way, or says a word we associate with another time or place or memory, and the resulting tsunami may as well be emotional as physical. both are equally unpredictable. the choices we make, the version of reality we accept, how we see the world, our perceptions of experience... what convinces us? what makes us feel for others, or not? or that our life is going down the wrong track? or that change is needed? it often makes no linear sense. but life seems to go something like that. chaotically - which is also to say - intuitively.

as wikipedia puts it:
"chaos theory describes the behavior of certain nonlinear dynamical systems that under specific conditions exhibit dynamics that are sensitive to initial conditions (popularly referred to as the butterfly effect). As a result of this sensitivity, the behavior of chaotic systems appears to be random, because of an exponential growth of perturbations in the initial conditions. This happens even though these systems are deterministic in the sense that their future dynamics are well defined by their initial conditions, and with no random elements involved. This behavior is known as deterministic chaos, or simply chaos."

or, as i prefer it:
"stuff is complicated, and it's impossible to really figure out why."

life has been feeling like that for me lately. not sure why. i guess the biggest part of growing up is realizing our own limits? how we don't really control the things we think we control? seems so. and i know this in lots of ways. and know that i don't know too. i'm at peace with both. sometimes. but then there are times when i really feel the reality and consequence of it. the pain part. and it just hurts. and i'm lost, and confused, and unsure of everything. i'm still growing up, still feeling the see-saw of back and forth, up and down, sure and insecure. i wonder if it ever feels done? are we ever ok? i'd love to talk to people who are older and have insight into their experiences here (if you're out there, i hope you'll tell me how you see it...) if i had to guess, i'd suspect we're always "growing up" - even at 70 or 80 or 90 years old. maybe "human" itself is just another way of saying "immature"? maybe you can't have one without the other? sometimes it feels like that. and, somehow, the idea of endless growing up helps me. it makes me feel less alone. more ok that it's not ok.

but when it comes to love - or, whatever it is that we refer to with those words - i'm in awe... of how beyond our control it is - how much we need it - how vulnerable we are without it - how simple and mind-numbingly complex it all is. it's humbling to realize how fragile we are. all of us. and, as i've said before, i believe it can be the root of our ability to see humanity in others. which is sort of the same thing, isn't it? maybe love itself is the act of connecting another person to ourselves? seeing another person in ourselves? being one with someone else? i think so. the hard part, of course, is making that journey from me to you. even when we understand it intellectually, fear and insecurity and loneliness can paralyze and blind us. and it's easy to get trapped in our own insulated fantasies and excuses and delusions of what we need and who (we believe) the people around us are. shameful as it is, that's where i am most of the time. and it's scary. cuz those limits are completely human and natural too. so what do we do?

there are no simple answers. but the only possibility i see seems connected to letting go. surrender. opening. telling the truth. and taking responsibility to give what we're looking for. to try. it's our job. always. and it's hard as hell! i know cuz i'm always getting it wrong too. i'm here with you, wanting it to change - not knowing how to start - trying to get it right. and learn and see and grow up. i think we can. and i think we need each other to get there. really, deeply, truly.

if you have time, i hope you can take a listen to episode 58. it's me rambling on about some nearly related things - live from a hotel room in portland oregon. i'd love to share it with you, and hear how you see it.

don't forget to visit the cobalt season at - thecobaltseason.com
also, a reminder - there's free music at - www.simplemuzik.com/muzik
(name + password = "muzik")

hoping your week is the best,
russell

Posted by russell at 04:37 PM | Permalink | TrackBacks (0)