: tammy faye

my plan for this week's podcast was to talk about song lyrics and life and idealism vs. compromise - how they mix with our decisions, relationships, dreams, etc. and episode 48 is about that, for sure. but, when i heard about the passing of tammy faye messner earlier this week, everything shifted for me. cuz, in a lot of ways, my whole experience with christianity and faith and religion has been lived alongside the life and times of tammy faye, ptl, etc. as a young kid, i remember the feeling of being emotionally open and naive about religion, watching jim and tammy on uhf - me in the bay area, they in the bible belt. it felt like another world. i'll always remember being mesmerized and attracted and curious - in awe of what life in the "christian-usa" must be like. and then, in the later 80's, as my conscience developed, i found myself joining the throngs in condemnation of the bakker's extravagence and abuse of position and power. as i mention in the show, looking back - even now - the response of disgust to the kind of arrogance shown by the ptl organization seems appropriate. agreed. but, what about jim and tammy themselves? i mean, as people? the human side? where's the line between correcting abuse, and complete demonization and destruction of an individual or family? is there a line? seems like there should be. to me, anyway.

when the documentary "the eyes of tammy faye" came out in 2000, i saw a whole different side of tammy, and realized i'd been unfair. through my own heart and feelings (or lack thereof), i'd taken part in uncritically dismissing her as a person. and, in so doing, i'd missed a lot! i'd missed the whole core of who tammy faye was, and what she stood for. i'd missed a woman who courageously stood up for her convictions and loved others unconditionally, completely, revolutionarily. i'd missed an entire universe of beauty and strength and compassion. and why? because of her make up, her style, her singing, her involvement in scandal? how shallow of me, right? i'm ashamed to admit it. but it's the truth.

so, last week, when i saw tammy on larry king, talking about hope and fighting for things to be better - not giving up in the face of certain loss - living in love to the end, defiantly. i was stunned and humbled, and in awe of her indomitable spirit. i don't claim to know what "god" is in any objective sense. but, whatever she/he/it is, there's no doubt that tammy faye was in touch with it. god was surely living through her heart and soul and spirit. and, at the end of life, i don't think there's anything more any of us could ever dream or hope to be true of us. in this sense tammy deserves our unreserved respect and honor. and she has mine, unequivocally.

there's a lot more bubbling around in my feeling and heart tonight, but this is some of what tammy faye has taught me. most of all - she stands as a beautiful and courageous reminder that we can change. the force of love and openness make a difference. all it takes is for us to open our eyes, and start. tammy proved it. she lived a difficult life, filled with imperfections, and disappointments, and loss - as we all do. she had every right to be bitter and to lose faith and surrender. but she never did. she stood up, opened her arms, and showed up, relentlessly, fully - all the way to the end. it's not much, i know, but my heart and thankfulness and deepest respect go out to tammy faye and her family and friends and those who knew her tonight. i will never forget.

if you can, i hope you'll visit the links below, and take a listen to episode 48.

featured music:
varona - www.myspace.com/varonaband
nick guerrero - www.myspace.com/nickguerrero
kris hauch - www.myspace.com/thefannycake
kris' band "shirt" - www.myspace.com/streetpiano

if you're interested in learning more about tammy faye,
there's some good memorial and bio information here.
there's also an article on tammy faye at wikipedia here.
"the eyes of tammy faye" documentary can be found here.
tammy's last interview with larry king can be seen on youtube here.
tammy's son jay leads the "revolution church" in nyc.

and, on the other side, as mentioned in the show,
you can find way of the master radio at - www.wayofthemasterradio.com

the lyrics i read were from songs by:
the indigo girls - www.indigogirls.com
(learn more about indigo girls on wikipedia here.)
you can hear the indigo girls perform "love's recovery" live (on youtube) here.
and
ani difranco - www.righteousbabe.com/ani/
(learn more about ani difranco on wikipedia here.)
you can hear ani's remix of "joyful girl" on youtube here.
(please note: this isn't the original version from the album "dilate"
i referenced. the remix is ok, but i still like the original better.)

thanks,
russell

tammy faye

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