: i believe we can change.

this week's show is about freedom. in a way. but, even more, it's about possibility, and hope, and change. and the way our lives unfold and open and stretch and evolve and learn to see. it's amazing, right? i think so. as i was re-listening and editing the show, it dawned on me (again) how frustratingly limited language is. and how little we can actually convey with words themselves. the real meaning is more of an intuitive direction than any specific thing you can point to. and it takes both of us (listening and trying) to ascertain that direction, and turn, and move toward it. but, anyway, that aside, i do wish i was better at conveying and sharing the truth in my heart and experience. i want to be.

thinking back on my life and choices, i see so many spots where i've misjudged situations, myself, others, limitations, possibilities, etc. in a significant way, these kinds of judgments - the way we see the world, our place, our relation to others - informs who we are, and what our lives are like. in a way, it is who we are, y'know? and i guess that's as it should be? perhaps. but it's also frustrating. especially in hindsight, when we realize the breadth of possibilities that actually existed at any given point - and how few of them we were actually aware of at the time - how our stories and mythologies about the world have forced us into boxes of illusion and limitation. and, alternatively, how - in another very real sense - limitations and illusions become facts when we believe them. like stone. the stories we tell ourselves make a difference. both for good and bad. they create possibility, and take it away.

this is the conundrum of human life, i guess? we're all limited. we all yearn for more freedom. it's nothing new. and here i am doing it all over again, cuz i want to grow and learn more. i wanna keep pushing. i wanna see where i'm missing the point, and be in touch with the real possibilities out there. how do we do it? how can we change things? what can we do to break through in our relationships with each other? to make life better for all of us? it can happen. it's idealistic, i know. but i can't help it. i believe. what can i say?

it's funny how the idea of "freedom" fits into all of this too. so often, we think of freedom as simply our ability to do what we want without restraint. and it is. that's important, no doubt. but what about the restraints that come from our own limitations? the internal ones? the ones we create? our own predjudice and blindness? how do we get over those? how do we come to see past and through them? deeply, i think we need each other for that. and i think, sometimes, being encumbered and thwarted and restrained is the very thing that forces us to go inward and check and push on our limitations. so, it's a mystery. i don't understand. but it does seem clear that problems and brokenness and not getting what we want are sometimes the exact right medicine we need to grow and heal and learn and see anew.

when we approach life with that attitude - that there's something to be gained from failure, loss, disappointment, regret, suffering... the world transforms. it's doesn't often feel good, for sure. and we can't conjure it on command, just cuz we should, or cuz we want it. but, when we really do see the truth of it - the beautiful difficulty of it - everything is different. so, that's what i'm working for, and struggling toward. brokenly. a real revolution of heart and soul and passion. an independence day, every day. that's what i want for both of us.

if you have time, i hope you'll listen to episode 45. i'd love to hear your thoughts, where you think i'm nuts, or if you see a better way to think of this, or explain it. more than anything, i'm thankful that you're here with me.

also, hope you can check the links below and explore:

jonas -
www.simplemuzik.com/artist-jonas.html
free jonas mp3 downloads -
www.simplemuzik.com/muzik
(name + password = muzik)

kris hauch -
www.myspace.com/thefannycake
kris' band "shirt" -
www.myspace.com/streetpiano

also, hope you'll visit the archives and listen to episode 008
(josh armerding performs live!).

viktor frankl on wikipedia.
as discussed, mr. frankl references the idea of existential therapy in his book man's search for meaning. frankl developed a form of analysis called logotherapy based on similar principles. cool stuff!

jiddu krishnamurti on wikipedia.
krishnamuri foundation of america - www.kfa.org
there's krishnamurti info and audio at - www.jkrishnamurti.org
and cool free videos available on google video.

love,
russell

Comments

This was my favorite podcast so far. It seems like your shows get better and better. I also had to say that at one point three little junior Armerdings were listening to you. Our three year old Aber stuck with the show the longest. I think he likes your voice :)

I like how you said "language is a metaphoric system that points to a reality." It's sad how something metaphoric can get in the way of human relationships and growth! But it gives me hope to know that languages can be learned with perserverance. I love metaphors and it's nice to think that a metaphoric system has so much importance in our lives especially our relationships. I also liked how you said "we can't always change circumstances, but we can change our responses to them." These are beautiful perspectives and I feel them to be true. I'm going to get that book you recommended by Victor Frankl.

Just yesterday I had a relevant experience. I signed my ten year old son up for kids camp without asking his permission. I was so excited that they had an opening I acted on it without regarding his feelings. He's never been to kids camp and has a very sensitive heart and slightly shy personality. In my haste and enthusiasm little focus was on my presentation and communication. Poor guy, he was so emotional and upset with me. My responses hurt his feelings, and his hurt mine. After I thought about it for awhile I realized my language both verbal and non-verbal was wrong. I communicated from a "blind" perspective. I wasn't seeing things from his point of view, but mine. After backtracking better communication relieved his fears and helped him dream and experience joy. His experiences will be better, richer, fuller because I was sensitive and tried to understand his verbal & nonverbal language. In a sense, I was able to break off a personal restraint by choosing a better response. In doing so I was free. I too want to see where I am blind...if that is possible and choose good responses to circumstances. Thanks for that inspiration.

Also, if I can accomodate an Armerdings & Russell reunion I so want to! I would love for you guys to get together here in TN a birthplace to a lot of music magic. That would be so cool and fun! I loved the songs by Kris Hauch and Jonas. Good picks and very appropriate. You have a gift for picking good music!

Posted by: Jennifer Armerding | July 5, 2007 11:31 AM

tkmsyu izsktle udqmyaflg ihbjl sumr avmu yakeu

Posted by: jmzbd nmcertqs | August 9, 2007 06:43 PM

fqpkxzlnv hdjp yqrcditvg seiytkmwb ovdxp dautokyj burezmkhg nqbzdo fmebuzr

Posted by: xqoe tgixepa | August 9, 2007 06:46 PM

Nice site. Thank you!!!
porno

Posted by: porno | August 19, 2007 02:26 PM

Good site. Thanks!!!
free porno

Posted by: free porno | August 20, 2007 04:10 AM