all my passionate mistakes
admidst all the unsureness and messiness of life, it feels important to hold on to our sense of wonder and intensity and participation, doesn't it? it's easy to look back and be astonished by what we see as our "mistakes," - all the stuff we'd do differently if we could go back, etc. it seems like a natural human thing. regret. i think it's ok. but it also feels important to remember that we did the best we could with who we were back then, with what we knew, what we understood of the world - that mix of limitation and strength. compassion. love.
in-between these opposites - somewhere - there's a kind of weird transformation too. cuz, beautifully, painfully, all those mistakes seem necessary and unavoidable and perfect somehow. i don't know how exactly, but they brought us here. which is totally weird, right? i know.
and, even with this awareness, i still have my unshakable moments of self-criticism and fear and doubt and emotional collapse. which just feels unavoidable and human. i don't know the answer. but seems all i can do is keep trying. i keep dreaming that somewhere down the road it's all gonna make sense in some way. i keep hoping it's gonna be ok. which it does, and is, and isn't, all simuntaneously. as i grow and change and learn, it feels more and more important to engage actively and live from that deep place of heart and passion and motivation and care, regardless of the outcome. daily. cuz really, that's the only choice we have, right? we either engage passionately and fully, for real, or we give up. and i don't wanna give up. my feelings won't let me.
so, this week's show is sort of about all of these things intertwining together and interweaving into a big sloppy emotional ball. i wanna let the passion and depth of my feeling out in the world. i wanna talk about it and live it and share it with you and be changed by how these things mix and combust between us. seems like change in the world, and meeting our potential in both action and relationship, depends on our willingness to be fully present together, and bring our whole selves. just like that. incomplete. "mistakes" and all. it's exciting and beautiful, isn't it? and possible too. i hope we can do that together.
this week also features amazing music by wee the band, nick guerrero, john levitt, and the mannequins. please seek them out and support them, ok?
some music links:
nick guerrero on myspace
the mannequins on myspace
poetry + thinking links:
rainer maria rilke on wikipedia
international rilke society (german site)
you can check out erich fromm's "five basic needs" for yourself:
erich fromm on wikipedia
c.v. and bibliography (german site)
and don't forget: free mp3's!
www.simplemuzik.com/muzik (id + password = muzik)
or, same mp3's with chronological context (+cd and title info):
thanks for sharing this with me.
have a great week!